Two weeks ago I wrote about how I have been struggling to find the joy I usually feel during the holiday season. Thankfully through the anticipation of events, planned activities, and patience, I have found my heart and mind embracing more of my typical holiday spirit.
We moved into our new home in early December. Although this was a bright spot, it is also where the need for patience came into play. It was wonderful to have a place that was our own, but moving into a home and unpacking it are two very different things. My irrational self wanted everything in place and perfect as soon as possible. My rational self realized that with a little calmness everything would fall into place in due time. As I write this, we are 95% done and feeling like this is home.
During the second week of December my kids returned home from college. Four days after moving into our new home we drove to Canada (and back) to bring our daughter home from her first semester at university. Another four days later we picked up our son at Logan after his semester ended. Having the kids (AKA adults) at home definitely adds to the festive air.
Over the last three weeks I’ve been working on the project that I adopted: completing a random act of kindness every day. I have found this project to be very fulfilling. For some of the acts I’ve done, it’s completely anonymous, and I don’t see a reaction. For others I am there, buying a coffee for a stranger, letting an elderly person go ahead of me in line. In a moment such as that, the smile on the person’s face is the only reward I need. Knowing that I made someone’s day better is quite amazing.
There are five days until Christmas, and I am glad that I will be with family and friends. I know that being with those I cherish will be comforting. I also know that a part of me will feel deep sorrow that my brother isn’t here to celebrate. So, I will acknowledge my grief but also remember the joy I have shared and the love that surrounds me. I will continue to seek the brightness in this holiday.